Self-advocacy and unlearning

I wrote about Adult ADHD for Impact Magazine.

After submitting this article, I discovered that using types or sub-types in reference to ADHD is a murky area. Using predominantly inattentive or predominantly hyperactive is becoming more widely accepted. For now.

The more I learn, the more I unlearn. Terms that were used for years can become problematic. It turns out identity-first and person-first language are best used interchangeably to respect the diversity of people. I have a lot of my own biases around language and identity.

I still struggle when it comes to self-advocacy around accessibility. In one moment I’ll feel angry when I don’t see captions on a call, then question whether I actually need them. I have imposter syndrome around my own disabilities. That’s ADHD messing with my self-perception.

Being mostly deaf is weird. I don’t use sign language and I can hear voices in certain situations. But if there is invasive noise, chatter, even a loud rain, I’m lost. Hard of hearing doesn’t cover it. When I try and explain this, people usually talk way too loud and that just makes it worse because I get anxious then my sensory processing flies out the window.

It’s not ideal. I don’t have a tidy solution to this. Maybe it reads like I’m complaining.

Overall, I’m very lucky. I have hearing aids and access to a family doctor and medications.

But it feels like I’m missing so much. Conversations, invitations, social intimacy. Being part of movements toward liberation.

I make plans to be part of community but on the day of, my energy plummets or I get anxious about exposure to air borne illnesses. Ever since getting Covid in May, my energy hasn’t bounced back. I’ve had multiple tests and it’s at the point where my family doctor looks at me through the screen of the telemedicine software with concerned resignation. How many more blood tests can I do? That’s a rhetorical question. I’m scheduled for more tests on Monday morning. Maybe they’ll find something, maybe not.

In the meantime, I’ll keep signing up to events and hope I have the energy to follow through.